I’ve been asked a lot over the past week how we’re really doing, so I figured I’d share.  The honest truth is, for the most part, we are doing very, very well.  Dumpling truly is as happy as the pictures show.  He almost always has a smile on his face and he’s adjusting beautifully so far.  But as with adding any new child to a family, we are facing challenges as well.  All normal and expected, but challenges nonetheless.

Despite Dumpling’s laid back personality, the days are long and emotionally tiring.  Using an attachment parenting style while teaching safety, appropriate life skills, communication, and what it means to be part of a family is a lot for anyone.  Most children learn all of these things slowly over time as they get older, but coming into a family at the age of 3 means that he is being overloaded with a ton of information all at the same time.  Especially given his past, there are so many experiences that Dumpling never had, so everything creates new opportunity for exploration (and in some cases, destruction).  This means he is always by my side.  And getting housework done has been pretty much put on the back burner, which I am really ok with.  Well, except when we run out of laundry, that’s not ok   😉    But seriously, Dumpling does absolutely delight in every new thing (ok, except swings, strollers, and shopping carts), which is simply magnificent to witness.  I mean it when I write it over and over – he is truly a JOY!

We are continuing to “cocoon,” which means that we are keeping his world as small as possible right now.  We go to church and attend a few other commitments that we can’t miss, but stay home otherwise.  We are intentionally keeping Dumpling’s contact with other adults minimized so that he can truly understand the roles of mama and baba.  After having multiple caregivers in the orphanage, we know that keeping him close will help all of us attach and bond more quickly, as well as help him learn to trust that we will meet his needs consistently.  Fortunately I’m a homebody, so this is perfect for me!  We’re not quite sure how long cocooning will last, but we’ll use Dumpling’s cues to let us know when to expand the small world.  He’s already beginning to show attachment and a preference for us, which definitely confirms our choice to keep him close.

I’m so thankful we homeschool too – we are having a very slow re-start, and our school commitments are basically non-existent right now, which makes things fairly stress-free.  The other benefit is that all of the other children are home consistently throughout the day, so Dumpling is getting lots of great bonding time with them.  It’s awesome for him to learn that they are playmates and he can depend on them for some things, but mama and baba are here to love, nurture, and meet all of his needs, all the time.

One of the main things we are working through is general adjustment, especially with the other children.  They all love their didi big time!  But it’s still difficult to shift to four siblings, and get less time with mom and dad right now.  We are doing our best to give them one-on-one time with special dates, but we are still spread thin as we adjust.  Some of the children are having a harder time than others, and trying to meet everyone’s needs is honestly tough right now.  It’s all normal and we know that time will help greatly, but some days I do feel a little overwhelmed.  Totally expected, yet still difficult.  Having said all that, I actually sat for 20 glorious minutes with a book and a cup of coffee yesterday.  While all the children were awake.  Baby steps.  And awesome.

Fortunately through these first few months of cocooning, we have an amazing group of friends who have been caring for us so well.  They’ve come around us and are supporting us in awesome ways, as well as praying for our transition.  We’ve had countless offers to help with the other children, stop at the grocery store, or just run errands.  And we’ve been blessed immensely by receiving super-delicious meals.  The outpouring of love for our family has been overwhelming!  And knowing that so many other people have been praying for us is unbelievably comforting too.  God has answered BIG.  Dumpling is amazing and all of us are just head over heels in love with him.  I still wrestle with what I know about and witnessed at his orphanage, compared to the beautiful child of God he is.  He is joyful and happy and loving and smart, perfect just the way he was made.  Maybe one day will be the right time to share.  But today I can at least boldly proclaim that God was very much with our son in that place.  He knew my son before he was knit together, and He will carry Dumpling through the rest of his life too.  So grateful for His unending love.